This is probably the most common, lifestyle related question I am asked. It's actually a very good one as I realize there are many single men out there who are searching for the answer.

I'll start off by telling the truth - it is very difficult for a single man to be taken seriously in the lifestyle. I'm sorry but that is a fact. Many single men see the lifestyle as a way to get easy and free sex; they don't see "swinging" as a friendship based lifestyle. Now, before you get mad at me, I know I'm generalizing. I have many single male friends, some of whom are heavily involved. But it took them a while to get accepted.

The first thing a single man must do is to fully understand what the lifestyle is all about. As I said in an earlier FAQ, it's not just about sex, but about honest and open friendship. There is a great deal of trust involved in the life, and you may have to prove yourself. Now, I'm talking about true lifestylers, not couples who are looking for one night, faceless "quickies"; that's a totally different thing. I'm talking about getting involved with a couple who truly practice the lifestyle as a lifestyle choice.

Once you understand what you are getting into, you should first find out what is available in your area. Most major cities have swing or couples clubs. You can usually find out where they are by checking your local newspaper's personal ads, in major "swinger" magazines, or right here on the Internet.

One of the best sources for lifestyle information on the Internet is Playcouples. Please read their pages. They have a lot of great information, and a full swing club listing that covers most clubs in North America.

Once you've located some clubs, give them a call. Find out if they happen to have "open door" nights or singles nights. Many clubs do cater to their members' wishes. Yes, many women's fantasies involve multiple male partners (like my fantasies!), and what better way to meet single men than by an open night at a swing club. You can find out the club's policies and procedures at the same time.

If you can't find a club that suits your needs, the next best thing is to either take out, or answer an ad in a swingers (or contact) magazine. Many couples place ads looking for single men - in fact it is very common. There are also some great on-line pages that you can place or answer ads.

Answer some of the ads and see if you can start a correspondence. Don't come on like a big "stud", just be yourself. That will probably impress them more. Above all, have fun and make new friends. I've made some great friends of single men, and I know many couples would love to meet someone for a fun, long term relationship.

Well, I've done what I can do....the rest is up to you!